


All I want

by RougueShadowWolf



Series: 15 Minutes [48]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Dead Stiles, Derek Loves Stiles, Heartbroken Derek, I have no idea how to tag this shit, M/M, Sad Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 08:20:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3970732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RougueShadowWolf/pseuds/RougueShadowWolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d feared the death of Stiles Stilinski the very moment it became clear that the boy would only leave if death dragged him away from the world of the living.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All I want

**Author's Note:**

> So my friend Buttercup (perhaps enemy from now) asked for a song fic (Kodaline’s All I Want) and it was supposed to be about Stiles and Derek, and this is what happened.

 

The morgue was silent and for the most part silent, the stench of death made his skin crawl, but there he was alone in the room of the dead his hand wrapped around the hand of the boy that had died unknowing of the way he felt. The face of the boy who’d stolen his way into Derek’s heart was covered and from what he’d seen it was for the best and Derek preferred to remember the pale youth with dark moles alive and vibrant instead of the corps that Matt Daehler created by putting a bullet through the back of Stiles Stilinski’s unexpected skull; the memory of Stiles moving down to make sure he was alright after Derek had been dropped to the ground paralyzed and useless, Derek had been unable to stop the way the young male with a deep rooted hatred seething in his rotten heart raised his gun without warning, perhaps Scott had thought that their classmate wouldn’t shoot Stiles because Scott did and said nothing not until it was too late but the master of the Kanima did pull the trigger without speaking a word. 

 

_ `Derek.´ Stiles breathed out eyes wide and full of worry the relief Derek had seen in Stiles eyes when the door between him and the hostages had been opened was now long gone. Stiles had pushed past the kid called Matt and Scott and dropped to the floor next to Derek, hands reaching out to touch Derek’s face like he was the delicate and fragile one. Derek had been distracted by the care and gentleness Stiles shoved him, and the relief he could see in Stiles eyes as it became clear that aside from being momentarily paralyzed he was unharmed and fine,but as the gun and Kanima wielding lunatic moved and aimed his gun towards the kneeling mole sprinkled youth thanking some unknown power over Derek not being seriously hurt Derek opened his mouth eyes focusing behind the younger male who was so very human and fragile and oh so beautiful to him. _

 

_ `Don’t.´ Derek had growled which startled Stiles a little but his hands didn’t detach from Derek which there werewolf thankful for because feeling those wonderful hands against the only part of him that didn’t seem paralyzed was rather comforting to him. _ ****_ Derek could almost feel the sadness surge within the body of the young male that had saved his life more than once, the rejection he felt over the words that weren’t even directed at him but the unstable youth standing behind the Stiles Stilinski, but then the came the sound that stopped the fancy heart of the strongest human Derek had ever come across and in his mouth there were suddenly droplets of blood and pieces of bone as well as brain matter to give the horrified werewolf an unwanted taste of a boy who hadn’t seemed to view him as a monster. _ ****

 

Derek squeezed the hand tighter, and unable to say anything to this lifeless being who deserved so much better than to be left in the cold dark all alone, Derek couldn’t stand the idea that the boy who had once admitted to Derek in a passing moment of mutual confessions the reason why he spoke constantly – Stiles hated silence, had hated it ever since he sat for an hour in the dead silent room of his mother, her breathing gone – and so Derek decided to break the silence by singing the only song that came to his mind the very last song he’d heard before Stiles was taken before he was able to say a single kind word to the kid who deserved better than to be dumped on a cold slab in the morgue. 

 

**_ All I want is nothing more _ **

 

**_ To hear you knocking at my door _ **

 

**_ Cos is I could see your face once more _ **

 

**_ I could die a happy man I’m sure _ **

 

Derek can’t stop the way his heart trembles and breaks because all he really wants is for the boy to come back all stumbling and loud,he wished he could see the once so energetic youth once more all healthy and happy his beautiful face untouched by death, he wanted the boy who’d had eyes so wide and warm and an adorable upturn nose, but Derek knew if he moved the covering away all he would see was the ruin and destruction the bullet had caused.

 

**_ When you said your last goodbye  _ **

 

**_ I died a little bit inside _ **

 

There had been no real goodbye between them, just a shot, just one horrible bullet from a gun that had been so loud and cruel. There had been no goodbyes, just an unexpected death.

 

**_ I lay in tears in bed all night _ **

 

**_ Alone without you by my side _ **

 

Derek had started crying the moment he’d realized Stiles was dead, he thinks he’d screamed or perhaps howled as the lifeless body had dropped on top of him. Derek thinks he’d continued to scream as the slender body had been rolled off of himall Derek wanted to do was reach out and hold Stiles’ close to him, to give him the bite in a last ditch effort to bring him back to the land of the living. But Derek’s body had refused to move even an inch.

 

Stiles death had left him feeling incredibly alone and empty, and even after he’d tried to go to bed Derek couldn’t sleep or get the feeling of abandoning Stiles out of his mind, because Derek had known where the boy had been taken and he knew Stiles would hate being alone and in the dark.

 

**_ But if you loved me _ **

 

**_ Why’d you leave me _ **

 

Derek wasn’t sure if Stiles’ had loved him the way he’d grown to love him, but regardless Derek’s voice broke in a sob at the words he sang out, and he clutched the cold pale hand tighter willing with every fiber of his body and soul for the boy to breathe and talk once more.

 

**_ Take my body _ **

 

**_ Take my body _ **

 

Derek would’ve happily changed places with Stiles than having to deal with the death of a boy who hadn’t deserved death this soon in his life, Stiles had deserved so much better, and he wished that whatever God had deiced to take Stiles would take him instead and just bring back the boy that deserved so much better than being dead before ever hearing that Derek had loved him more than Derek had ever imagined he could.

 

**_ All I want is _ **

 

**_ And all I need is _ **

 

All Derek wanted, needed really, was for Stiles to sit-up whole and alive. All he needed was for the sarcastic little shit to be back, he wanted Stiles to be back to annoying him and driving him crazy. 

 

**_ To find somebody _ **

 

**_ I’ll find somebody _ **

 

**_ Like you _ **

 

Derek kissed the knuckles of the cold hand knowing very well that there was not another Stiles anywhere on earth, that he’d lost someone he shouldn’t have lost so easily, he would always and forever wonder if he could’ve done something more to stop this unnecessary death from ever occurring.

 

**_ See you brought out the best of me _ **

 

Stiles had forces Derek out of his shell, forced him to be something else than just angry and Derek had never told the boy how often he laughed and smiled when thinking back to the things Stiles had said and done simply because he hadn’t been brave enough to do so in front of the teenager.

 

**_ A part of me I’ve never seen _ **

 

**_ You took my soul and wiped it clean _ **

 

Perhaps Stiles hadn’t cleaned away all his sins and mistakes, but with Stiles around Derek had felt a little less alone and raw. With Stiles around he was in all honestly less angry, but now he felt only grief and hopelessness. 

 

**_ Our love was made for movie screens _ **

 

Derek nearly laughed at the words he sang because if their story was anything it was a tragedy, which wasn’t fair on him or Stiles. Stiles should’ve had the perfect love story with a happy-sappy ending instead of this miserable one she’d been given. 

 

**_ But if you loved me _ **

 

**_ Why’d you leave me _ **

 

Derek can’t stop the tears flowing down as he continues to sing, and in the end the words become unclear as he just weeps over the love lost. And when security came to drag him away he didn’t fight he simply cried as he began to realize that yet another person he’d loved had been killed because of him.

 

When Derek was dragged before the man who had not only lost his wife but now his son, Derek did not hide his tears from this man who was grieving as much as he did and so Derek refused to speak anything but the truth when the question about Derek’s reason for breaking into the morgue.

 

`I had to see him.´ Derek answered without much thought which caused the man with red-rimmed eyes to ask sharply, `What? Why? ´

 

Derek looked into those sorrowful eyes and chocked out the words he hadn’t been able to say to Stiles when he’d been alive, but which he knew now he should’ve said even if Stiles would’ve rejected him.

 

`I – I loved him, sir. I loved Stiles.´ 

 

Derek would never forgive himself for failing Stiles that night at the sheriff’s station he would never forget the boy with the bow-shaped mouth he’d never found the courage to kiss. Derek could never forget the way Stiles had settled inside his heart or the warmth he’d felt when he realized that the human would do anything to save his useless life even when Derek had done nothing to deserve to be saved. ****

 

Derek Hale would never forget the way Stiles had slipped through the cracks and brought him hope when he’d never thought he’d fine it, and he continued to think about the boy to the day when the Alpha pack arrived into town. His last thought in his head as his uncle sliced his throat wide open nearly severing his head from his body was of one Stiles Stilinski, and as he felt his life drain from his body and death drawing closer he could’ve sworn he heard the familiar voice of Stiles Stilinski call out to him.

 

`I’ve missed you Sourwolf.´ 

 


End file.
